Kerala Marriage Traditions

Weddings are always the most joyous, perhaps, the most celebrated events in Kerala. It is the coming together of not just the bride and the bridegroom, but the knotting of two families, and the joy of this hymeneal knot being celebrated by a hundred others.

Hindu Wedding

Hindus, who make up for over half of the population of the state, form the largest religious community in Kerala. For Hindu weddings, an engagement function is held before the marriage. In this function there will be prayers from Vedas. Poojas will be conducted in front of a sacred fire. The bride will be gifted articles like silk and jewels and the invited guests are given a sadya. Another important custom is exchanging trays between the girls and boys family. The tray contains articles like betel leaves, turmeric etc. It is considered as a mutual binding which is unbreakable. The marriage date is decided by checking the horoscopes and an auspicious day is fixed for the marriage.

 

In traditional Hindu marriage, Thalikettu or the groom tying the Thali (a wedding string) around the bride’s neck is considered to be the most important ritual of the entire wedding ceremony. The Thali represents the long lasting bliss of a marital relationship.

As the bride and groom wait on the Kathir Mandapam, which is the specially prepared stage where the marriage takes place, the father of the groom hands over the Thali to the groom. The groom ties it around the neck of the bride while the background gets filled with auspicious musical notes.

After this, the couple exchange garlands and rings. The groom’s father gives the groom a Manthrakoti (bridal dress) which he gifts to the bride. He also applies some vermilion on the parting of her hair. Then, the father of the bride comes behind the couple and places betel leaves on the groom’s right hand and puts the bride’s hand on it. This ritual is known as Panigrahanam.

The roots of Hindu wedding ceremonies in India can be traced back to the Vedic period. Kerala too, has imbibed most of the ritualistic as well as ceremonious elements of the Vedic tradition. However, in Kerala, the ceremonies are simpler compared to those of the other parts of India.

Christian Wedding

Christian weddings also have a betrothal. In the custom of the Syrian Christians, soon after the families show their interest in the marriage, the bride and groom meet each other. When decided, they inform the concerned church and obtain a sanction. After getting the sanction, the bride and the groom have to undergo a premarital course which is conducted at the church itself.  A formal engagement is then conducted from the church in the presence of the church officer and a vicar. It is called as ‘manasammatham’. A prayer is also conducted and the couples are blessed by the vicar. They exchange rings and it is recorded in the church register. During the church prayers conducted on the next 3 consecutive Sundays, the betrothal of the couple is announced. This is done in order to check whether anyone opposes the marriage. Then a date is fixed for the marriage.

The Christian marriages are held from the church as is the case globally. The bride arrives in the church wearing a white gown or an off-white wedding saree. The bride also wears a wedding veil. The groom comes in formal suit. The bride is given a bouquet of flowers by the groom’s best man. The priest welcomes the couple and a wedding mass is conducted. The priest then presents a speech about the importance of family life, love, care and adjustments. This is called as Homily. After that the priest blesses the rings which are then exchanged. The couple promises to stay in love, be loyal and helpful to each other throughout their life. After getting the final blessing the couple signs in the marriage register at the church. The newly-wed couples are showered with flower petals as they walk out of the church. Later a reception is held at the bride’s home.

Muslim Wedding

In the Muslim community also after the consent of the families, the bride and groom meet each other. Then a ‘valayidal’ function is conducted in which the groom’s family presents the bride with gold ornaments. These gold ornaments may be either antique jewel which may have passed through several generations and has emotional value or new jewels. The marriage date is then fixed as per the wishes of both the families. Relatives of the bride visit the groom and present him cash and gold. They recite portions from Quran during the ceremony.

On the previous day of the marriage, a function called ‘mylanchi idel’ is conducted at the bride’s residence. Mylanchi is more commonly known as “mehendi”. Female relatives of the groom visit the bride and they apply mylanchi on the bride’s hands and legs. They sing songs and bless her. A traditional dance called ‘Oppana’ is also sometimes performed by the bride’s friends and relatives.

 

The functions in a Muslim marriage start with the arrival of the groom. He is accompanied by his family, friends and musicians.  The bride’s sisters can play pranks on the groom. A gift called as ‘Mehr’ is decided by the family members. It is usually in the form of cash. It is the Maulavi who conducts the marriage. Lines from the Quran are read and a contract is prepared. The contract is offered by the groom and is accepted by the bride. This is called as the Ijab-e-Qubul. The Mehr which is a compulsory gift is then given to the bride’s family. The agreement document also called as ‘Nikkahnama’ is signed by the bride, groom, their fathers and the Maulavi and it gets registered. The feast is given and the couples are allowed to see each other through a mirror. A prayer is also held after which the bride is given farewell by her relatives.

 

The marriages have to be registered and government supports for the legal registration of marriages.

It is a matter of pride that the people of Kerala, in the presence of such diverse religious communities, has a long tradition of religious amity. This is one factor which makes Kerala unique.

 

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